Thursday, August 16, 2012

Secret *quote* vices *end quote*


I have a confession to make, a revelation of a secret vice.

That got your attention, didn't it?

Well, don't get too excited. My addiction is rather mundane compared to most. You see, I'm obsessed with words. Or more specifically, the clever way in which words can be put together.

I like to read and I love to write, but despite what some may call my taste in books ("sleazy sex novels" being the most disparaging remark which I took in good humor considering the source) I am pretty picky about what I enjoy. I've been known to toss aside any number of tomes because, after reading only a few pages, the urge to whip out a red pen and edit what I've just read is so fierce I can't bring myself to finish it. I used to force myself to plow through books to the bitter end no matter how much I disliked them. But now I've decided that's just a waste of my time. I'm not sure if age has made me wiser or just shortened my attention span. Probably a little measure of both. Well, actually a little of the former and a whole lot of the latter, but that's a discourse for another day.

What I find even more addictive than novels is quotes (which, now that I think of it, probably relates to the short attention-span issue). I have just over half-a-dozen books filled with quips of everyone from Bud Abbott to Emile Zola and it never fails that if I pull one from the shelf to hunt something up I end up spending hours reading through pages and pages of witty, profound, hilarious, perceptive sayings. The fact that the majority of them are from people who lived in another era only makes them all the more charming. It’s like the thinking man’s (or woman’s, in this case) mindless entertainment.

Here are some of my favorite… from some of my favorites:

I owe my success to having listened respectfully to the very best advice, and then going away and doing the exact opposite. G.K. Chesterton

Cats are like Baptists. They raise hell and you can never catch them at it. Mark Twain

The difference between death and taxes is death doesn’t get worse every time Congress meets. Will Rogers

A real Christian is a person who can give his pet parrot to the town gossip. Billy Graham

Imagination is more important than knowledge. Albert Einstein

No matter how calmly you try to referee, parenting will eventually produce bizarre behavior, and I’m not talking about the kids. Bill Cosby

Many a man’s tongue broke his nose. Seumus MacManus

A woman is like a tea bag – you never know how strong she is until she gets in hot water. Eleanor Roosevelt

And this from The World’s Best Epigrams c. 1924: The reason there were fewer wrecks in the old horse-and-buggy days was because the driver didn’t depend wholly on his own intelligence.–Boston Post

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