I think I suffer from adult ADD. My focus is so shattered that my brain begins to feel like a pinball machine. Each night as I lay in bed, trying to fall asleep, I beat myself up over all the things I didn’t accomplish that day. Then I assure myself tomorrow I’ll do better. I start the day with the list I’ve mentally compiled and prioritized the night before. Then I grab breakfast and a cup of coffee and turn on my laptop. And that’s when things begin to unravel.
The problem is the constant battle between what I need to do and what I want to do. A tug of war, you might call it, between my inner child that yearns to explore everything and anything that catches my fancy and my adult sensibilities that nag at me to tend to my seemingly endless and most times boring responsibilities.
One of the casualties of this train wreck is my time with God. There are days I check my email to find I’ve let a week’s worth of daily devotions slip by unread and I can’t figure out how I let it happen. Reading about Solomon in 1 Kings 11:1-6, I think I’ve discovered a clue.
Apparently a king who had seven hundred wives and three hundred concubines wasn’t so unusual back in the Biblical times before Christ. But where Solomon went wrong was taking women that worshiped foreign gods, something the Lord had expressly forbidden him to do. And just like Mark Twain’s humorous story about Brigham Young, they all had their own agenda. Next thing Solomon knew, his attention was fractured and his devotion to God was forgotten.
Not all distractions are bad, just like not all of Solomon’s wives worshipped idols. But if the king had used the gift of wisdom God had blessed him with rather than letting his libido do the talking, he would have saved himself a lot of headaches (imagine being yammered at by 1000 women) and divine punishment.
And similarly, if I make my time with the Lord my number one priority the true importance of the distractions that call to me will become clearer and things will more easily fall into place. As Paul says in Romans 8:6, “So letting your sinful nature control your mind leads to death. But letting the Spirit control your mind leads to life and peace.”
So you really think you have adult ADD Susan? I actually went to a psychiatrist a couple of years ago to do an informal assessment. She said, from my history she'd estimate that I have at least a mild case. She then asked if I'd like some Ritalin/Adderall. I was not, nor am I still not prepared for that. I have to do things to help me focus at work, such as close my door, even use my Ipod (music doesn't distract me, especially instrumental) in order to write up my reports.
ReplyDeleteI do find that I too easily let my time for being with God and meditation slip away to easily. If I can use my lunch walk to be with Him a bit, it does help!